THE NEW RESIDENCIA

7^TH issue

EST. 1833

EDITOR – ICE

              IN THE

   TWILIGHT ZONE

Rona Stephens, 38, wife, mother, and successful business owner, is driving home, the long day behind her, night coming on.  She’s been pushing it for the last hour, trying to make the homestead before dark, all the time knowing it wasn’t going to happen.

Damn these frigging Friday meetings anyway she thinks, and watches the speedometer slide over the 80 mark.  Mark, her husband of 11 years will be worried, he hates it when she drives at night, and for some reason the cell phone has not had a signal since leaving Raleigh, as even now she stares at it, willing a signal that won’t come.

The shortcut is coming up, decision time again.  Mark has forbidden her to use it after dark, but, it saves 20 minutes of drive time, and Rona has used it many times before, at night, without a problem. 

She makes the turn, down a lonely road, with trees on both sides, wrapping long, dark fingers around her, car and all.  Thirty minutes from home Rona Stephens takes a shortcut into the Twilight Zone.

Larry Bryant, a 26-year-old loner, steers his old pickup down the same road, but going in the opposite direction, heading for a meeting he neither expects, nor can stop.  Just out of prison, Larry is mad. Mad at the world, mad at everyone, and especially mad at women. 

Women have always meant trouble for Larry, starting with his mother right on up to Angelic; the smart-ass talking little sister of Jenks, one of his running buddies from High School.

Angelic was the reason he had been a ward of the state for the last 2 years.  She had gone to the police after he raped her on a cold winter night in her parents cabin.

A night when she had fucked with him for hours before finally, when he couldn’t stand it any longer he’d taken her, “rough”, just as she’d wanted him to, and then when he’d left the next morning for Vegas, refusing to allow her to go with him, she had ran to Jenks telling him that Larry had raped her. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d raped a woman, but it was the first time he’d actually been locked up for it.  They’d almost had him when he was 19, but fortunately for him, Paula the twelve year old daughter of the town’s one and only preacher, had went home and bathed after the incident, plus her Daddy, citing the Bible on one hand, and holding out the other for a donation, had received enough money from Larry’s Dad, to not file charges. 

Even so, the local Sheriff had wanted to hang him, but without an official complaint, and no evidence to speak of, nothing happened, other than Larry being told to leave town.

The road is mostly asphalt, but stretches of it are nothing more than hard packed dirt mixed with gravel, and though she has driven it many times, Rona treats it with respect, never taking her eyes from the road, watching for deer, cows, horses and dogs in that order, for hitting an animal is the most dangerous thing about the shortcut.

She looks at the digital clock on the dash, thinking just a few more minutes and she will be pulling into the driveway at home; Mark standing in the doorway, framed by the light from the kitchen, and their two collie dogs barking at her car, as she eases into her space underneath the carport.  Just a few more minutes.

To be continued……

Saturday Morning

Man I love Saturday mornings, especially New Year Eve Saturday’s, lol.  No big parties or anything for us here in our little rural area, we will probably have a little “Crown” tonight to help ease the New Year in, but nothing in the extreme; just a nice, mild, closing of one door, so another one can be opened. 

Wish I could peek behind that new door and see what was headed in our direction, but, alas, all I can do is the same as you; just take it one day at a time.

Not much going on after our little skirmish yesterday with Calvin, who has since “apologized for his taking “Johnny Reb’s” name in vain, lol.  I really wasn’t all that offended, but it was good of him to retract what he said, and for that he should be commended. 

It appears now; in retrospect that Mamamiah could have been correct in her assessment that we here on the ol stream might be a little quick to circle our wagons, when coming across an objectionable blog.  From reading some of his and Debunkems comments, it might be that most of it was “silly fun”.  If it was, I guess the joke might be on us.  Wouldn’t be the first time those Englishmen have pulled one on us colonists.lol

Diesel was up late last night on my blogsite conversing with me for a while, but I had to get some sleep, had been running on empty for the last few days.  Six, Pup, and Colo=connect were around too, and Dariana was there for a while.  Scratch, Johnnie and Laurel stopped in and left comments also. 

Laurel was still “steaming” about Calvin, and “sitting in her bubble spitting fur”, lol, too cute; that lady is a keeper.  Her blog is a pure delight to read, as so many are on this ol stream. 

Is the Diesel leaving?  I don’t know for sure.  I tried to get him to talk regular talk with me and stay away from the “traintalk”, but it didn’t work too good, for he kept dropping back into that peculiar railroad/jockey talk, and I was so tired anyway; just couldn’t really get a handle on anything.

Icey Ridge

just a picture

on my desk

a juncture

from the past

another ice

some other place

another similar face

just a roll of the dice

the knowing smile

the glint in his eye

and all the while

hello and bye

grandpa in his time

done his own thing

made it all rhyme

this ice he did bring

Serious Editorial

God… how I hate to write a serious editorial (for I prefer to take life on the  “light” side), but… alas, that is exactly what I am going to do.  This is one of those “Serious” Editorials; the reason for it - is two things going on – on the blogstream. 

The First is the departure of my good friend Diesel.  What can anyone do or say – when somebody says they have made up their mind to do something? 

The thing that pops up in my mind is, “reconsider”.  Simple.  Just reconsider your decision, and in doing so - ask yourself - if the decision - “is the only option”? Or, is there another option - other than what I’ve decided to do? 

If the answer to those two questions are “yes and no” in that order, then the discussion is done, and there is no reason for anyone to try and persuade anyone - to do something different.

And so, I will not try to persuade Mr. Diesel to do anything other than what he has to do.

We’ll miss you Diesel.

The Second thing - is this “overblown - big ta-do” over the blogger known as “Calvin Tatsey”, and his blog called – “The Sovereign Post”, which is a blog I’ve read on occasion although I’ve never “bookmarked” it, and certainly do not plan to now.

Anyhow…. You guys may have been following the antics about all this - in Blogstream News, Debunkem’s Blog, and in “The Sovereign Post”.  I’m not going to get into “the whole story” in this editorial, cause frankly, it’s not that big of a thing to me.  

But… I am going to give a little attention to an exchange between me and ol Calvin today.  Early this morning as I was rushing around trying to get out of the house - to go to work - I was reading  “Blogstream News” and I came across the piece written by Mr. Tatsey alleging that he was being discriminated against by Blogstream and John.

Intrigued by his wild claims I went over to his blog.  In the comment section Debunkem had written an excellent piece about the situation, and being in a hurry and thinking that Debunkem had pretty much hit the ol nail on the head, I added my own comment, which was just an endorsement of Debunkem’s, and never thought nothing about it, till I got home this evening and read what ol Calvin had said in response to my comment.

So… in this editorial I am just going to “present” ol Calvin and ol Ice.  I have posted my original comment, and Calvin’s rebuttal and last of all, my rebuttal to his rebuttal, Hmm.. a lot of butts around here, step lightly folks. 

So…. Here they are, in all their glory, and I’ll just let you all make up your own minds about them.

 Icemelts:

"I agree with what Debunkem said, and "I too -- would like to see substance instead of wild accusations.-----ice"

Ol Calvin’s response;

As for you, here's a short incident: This morning I watched a large-strong-courageous dog. He ran up to another dog, who displayed identical attributes. They faced each other, growled, snarled, and finally, the other dog walked off. While this incident was occurring, I noticed a second dog, behind the first, a small-mangy looking cur, every time the first dog would growl or snarl, the cur would echo him. All the while, remaining behind the first. That's it.

In closing, I looked at your photos, and "Caucasian/Republican". Front page blog, or not? Yeah I've seen your's there, a-time-or-two.

All Someone Else's,

Calvin Tatsey

Icey’s Response to above Response

So…. My brief encounter with Ol Calvin has ended, for like I said in my response, I do “prefer” – man to man – talking.  In addition, I love talking face to face with people.  It seems to somehow “change” things, as opposed to using the little white screen or a telephone to hide behind.  End of Story. Ice

THE NEW RESIDENCIA IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SLANDERDOUS CONDUCT AND TAKES ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING SAID OR WRITTEN IN THIS RAG.

ESTABLISHED APRIL 1^ST, 1822

EDITORIAL

This Rag takes great pleasure in endorsing  Johnnie” as the Judge to preside over the upcoming trial of “Pup” and we know without a doubt that Judge Johnnie will be fully impartial and fair, in said trial.  ---However, Judge Johnnie does have some competition. 

MammouthMouth Diesel and his new partner SIX have both nominated I.C. Mann, who we have been checking out ever since his nomination was proposed. Mr. ICMann is a known confederate of Mr and Mrs MammothMouth, er; I mean Mr Mammouth Mouth Diesel and Ms SIX, my apologies. 

While this race for the judgeship seems somehow to be somersaulting into a fixed race, we at the Residencia beseech yall to cast your vote for Judge Johnnie.  Judge Johnnie will make a judge that yall can be proud of.

OLD CHARTER CLUB

By default, it seems that the Old Charter Club heretofore known as CCC will not be the respectable one that we here at the Residencia envisioned, but will be filled with innuendo, bribery, skullduggery, and back room politicking.  In any event, the first proposed member has been put forth as MS Six.  Since there seems to be no rules or regulations, her nomination is hereby put forward and we will be tabulating votes.  5, count them, 5 votes are needed to induct MS SIX into the “Hall of CCC”.  So far she has one, count it, one vote.  Polls close at midnight, December 31^st, so cast your vote, if you so desire for MS SIX. 

THIS JUST IN

Mr. Snerdly, newly appointed Vice President in charge of personnel has just nominated the following for the “Hall of CCC”.

Colo=Connect, prominent local attorney.

Ms PuP - prominent - Top Canine Distributor

Ms Pie prominent ex- Sheriff Ice RamRaider, and German Helmet Owner

Mr. Snerdly informs us that more nominations are in the works as this rag is hitting the newsstands.

jj

JUDICIAL NOMINATIONS

Here ye, Here ye, Here ye, this rag has just received the nomination of “JEEVES” for Judge.  We here at the Residencia believe that Judge Jeeves would make an excellent Judge; he has been the Head Butler/CarWaxer, 1st for our Editor in Chief, Mr. Ice for 23 years without missing one day of work.  So, we hereby duly note his nomination.  Any seconds? So far the candidates are as follows;

Mr. I.C. Man

Our own editor – Ice

Ms. Pup

Johnnie

Jeeves

In keeping with the flow of things this rag endorses Pup also as Judge.  We think Judge PuP would make an excellent Judge and hereby duly note it. Thank you Thank you

PARTY TIME

FULL BLOWN PARTY OVER AT DARIANA’S IN HER HOT TUB.  BRING SHOVALS, PICKS, AND THONGS.

NOTE ALL MEN OVER 50 GET IN FREE, IF THEY WEAR THONGS TO PARTY, YALL COME YOU HEAR!

DEAR ICE;

Mr. Ice, sir, my problem is that my boyfriend is very possessive and I cannot even wink at another guy without him popping a diesel plug from his engine.  Any suggestions? Signed MsSix

Blogstream World

Dear MsSix – might I suggest that you find your boyfriend another girlfriend, and since he is so possessive you could have free latitude to do whatever you desired. Right? Wink,wink.

Dear Mr. Icey

I have a problem sir, that I don’t know what to do with.  My little problem is that nothing gets done around my house anymore because my dear darling wife is constantly on blogstream.  What do you suggest.  Judge Ice, husband of MsPuP. Somewhere in the ol stream.

Dear Judge, that’s Mr. Ice to you and begone with the damn Y - have you ever thought about getting up off your judgeship and doing something yourself around your adobe?  Perhaps you could start with supper.  Ms PuP happens to be a good friend of mine, wink/wink/wink and I happen to know she loves Steak, tators, salad, and corn on the cob.  Get with it boy, and that wasn’t Leroy!

Lady in a Car

ice

Seen a lady in a car the other day.  She had two dogs with her and Texas plates, and from the look of the car she was/had been on the road for a while.

I couldn’t help but think of Johnnie and her cross-country trek.  This lady was trying to break into the traffic on the road I was on.  I let her in, and she waved at me, and I waved back.

 Following her (because I was going the same way as her) I checked out her ride.  It was a Volvo station wagon, and appeared to be about 10 years old or so. I swear if she would have been having car trouble I would have been forced to help in any way I could.  All because of Johnnie and the others on this blogstream. Go Figure.

Note:  I am the kind of guy that would help anyway, as the next article will testify to, but like I said, I kept thinking of Johnnie and her trek, as well as some other “treks” I’ve read about on the ol stream.

jj

Asleep at the Wheel

Ice

It happened a couple of years ago, although it seems like yesterday. 

How many times – has -  many – said that?  Because of course “things” happen to all of us in this crazy world.

My unique experience began on a normal day at work.  Back then I was still “turning the wrench”, and had been working in the hot, humid heat all day. 

This particular day I had been in a back room of a motor pool bldg changing out some equipment with very little ventilation if any at all.

Outside the temp was over a hundred degrees and the humidity was at about 70-80%, and it had been “working on me all day”, and I was damn glad when time came to head in for the day, even though it was a 75 mile drive. 

Once in my truck I drenched myself with ice-cold water from my cooler, and as it mixed with my sweat I started to feel better.

In fact, in retrospect I was damn near suffering from heat stroke, a dangerous condition down here in the south, and one that an experienced person like me - should have never let himself get into.

But, as I drove away from the center, and headed my van toward the house, I really was thinking that I was ok, and actually I was, but man was I sleepy.  Had to keep splashing cold water on myself as I drove to keep awake. 

Approaching a town that I had to go through, I saw a fairly new car on the side of the road.  The car was jacked up and – an – older man of around 70 or so was attempting to change out a flat, with his wife standing outside the car watching him.

Seeing that he was having trouble lifting the flat tire away from the car, I pulled over and ask him if he could use a hand.  Sliding down the side of the car and wiping his brow he told me, “damn right”.

I had to chuckle to myself, because it was obvious that he would of never got the flat tire off the car, and the spare back on.  But it was a good chuckle, not one to make fun of anyone, or anything..  I changed the flat and jacked the car down and stored his jack and all those damn parts back in the trunk and with a wave I was on my way again. –who was that masked man?- lol

Yeah, it felt good to do a good deed, but, I was now “really tired” and “really hot again”,lol, but as I got back in my van I began to give myself another “icey” bath.

By the time I got into town, I could not believe that I still had another 45 miles to go.  Knowing that I needed to pull over and take a short nap, I decided to pull over at a little store I had stopped at several times.  Figuring to pull in and take a 15 minute nap, I was really looking forward to getting there, and in fact I could see the little store – just before a frigging “train” started across the road I was on.

All traffic, of course, came to a halt and here I was about 5 or 6 cars back from the front car at the tracks, with about 10-12 behind me; all of us stuck watching the train slowly creep by.

I had my headphones on listening to a really good CD, a little Santana was playing in my ear, as I came to a stop – putting the shifter in Park.

I leaned back against the seat with my music playing in my ears and waited for the train to pass.

Next thing I knew – I heard the damnest pounding on my window.  Coming awake - I quickly noticed “that my van was the only vehicle for as far as I could see”. 

Everybody was gone except me.  The cars that had been in “front” of me were gone, and the ones “behind” me were gone too.  My van was the only thing in the damn road, except for this guy who was pounding on my window.

He must have been about 40 or so, and had on “overalls” those jean looking things - with straps over the shoulders – that farmers wear - and some scary rednecks..  And no shirt.  His hairy chest staring at me along with his beady little eyes. 

He was holding the hand of a kid of about 10-12, and the kid was looking at me kind of funny like, you know, like a bug under glass.  The man had his hands in his pockets, and he just smiled, showing a couple of vacancies in his mouth, as he said, “we thought you were dead”. 

I quickly sat up, shifted the idling van to “D” for “drive the hell out of here” and sped off down the road, crossing the train tracks, I hooked a left at the light, hit the interstate and was home in about 40 minutes or so, and never felt sleepy at all. 

Might call this one of my many “Most Embarrassing Moments”, and although mine is not as funny as Pup’s or some of the others I’ve read, it was funny as hell to my father in law when I told him the story, which I’ve – since - regretted doing, because he laughs way too hard at it, and insists I tell it at various family gatherings.

I myself, except for this written version, prefer to forget about it most of the time.

Ice being Ice

ice

Damn! That middle column is long!  Goes on and on and on and on.  Some might get tired of scrolling and never make it to the bottom.  Sorry about that, but it’s not as long as it looks, cause it’s just a skinny column.

This ol blogstream continues to amaze me.  It is truly a good place to hang ones hat from time to time, and I miss it when I’m not able to.

 I believe that we (bloggers of today) are truly just at the beginning of something that will eventually change “everything”..

It may take a longer time than we have left on this old orb, but, someday it will have a huge impact on the U.S.A, as well as the entire world.

I can envision future people sitting at home pushing an electronic button and voting for their candidate of choice in “all” political elections.

Finally, a “true” democratic process, and one the politicians of today  - would be unable to survive.  For there is no way that G.W. could win a “true” democratic election today, yesterday or anytime in this country. 

A minority voted him in; and that minority in both his elections, would have been “drowned” in a sea of votes against him – if “all Americans”- were enabled to vote, as with the little electronic button of the future - that I talked about above.  “Yeah, GW, Bring it on - fellow… bring it on.

End of the day Poem

Ice

as far as the eye can see

candles burning

flickering & dancing

side to side

a magic trance going on

all fighting the wind

at the door, at the window

creeping thru cracks

an inevitable conclusion

means nothing to them

for they will burn

the wind away