The New Residencia

Editor – Ice

Dep Editor – PuP

Vice Pres. – Daze

Exec VP – Six

Asst. Exec VP - Prank

StoryLine – Whit

Scoop Rep– Scratchomo

Ace Reporter – Jonnie

Chief of Art – Lucy

GUEST EDITORIAL

by

Dan

I’ve been watching time lately, and the conclusion I’ve come to - is; time does not stay still.  Have you ever noticed this, or have you never watched time? 

There is much talk about “time travel” and the such, which everyone has an opinion on, and, it is our best guess that it doesn’t exist, but then - we only know we exist because we tell ourselves that we do, so depending on ourselves to know if time travel exists.… is probably a risky business.

In fact, when you think about it, everything we know… we know because we’ve told it to ourselves.  So, the question is; what’s the truth here?  If we follow the logic above and admit that we truly do  “not know,” and only know what we’ve told ourselves… then everything we say we know, must by de facto, be suspect. 

Is an apple only an apple because we say it’s an apple?  Seems to me that – that might be the case.

Anyway, enough about apples and time.  As most of you know, I’ve been away with Leo the last few days, and when last seen, was reportedly seen beside an old wagon, leaning against one of it’s wheels, while Leo laid beside me smoking a cigarette. 

Was I really there, am I there now, and where am I now?  It’s going to sound really strange to you, but I’m still at the wagon.  Leo is asleep and I’ve been instructed to wake him as soon as Jackie arrives. 

It feels really odd here I must say, and how you ask, am I typing on this keyboard?  Simple.  Leo has a computer here; he got it out of the wagon and handed it to me just before beginning his nap.

It’s not really a “laptop,” for it’s much easier to operate, and the keys are easier to type with, in fact, this is easier than my desktop back in the office.

It’s probably about 70 degrees here, a nice day in the fall it seems like, I can see a couple of trees off in the distance and though they still have leaves, it appears that some are falling. (leaves not trees) 

Except for the few trees, the landscape is flat and barren of anything other than a few Texas looking shrub bushes; the sky is blue for as far as I can see, with only a few puffy white clouds, and they are way off in the distance.  It looks like it hasn’t rained here for months, and will never rain again.

It kinda seems like we could be in west Texas, or eastern New Mexico, but I know it could also be eastern Colorado; the mountains being farther west there. 

Thinking about Colorado makes me think of those “Rocky Mountains,” and I wonder how far east we are, and if we have to cross those mountains in and around Durango and Ouray?

I think back - to driving from Durango to Ouray, through those mountains, on that highway called the - “Million Dollar Highway.”

Built in the late 1930’s, it was originally only the final stretch to Ouray, (Highway 550), that was known as the “Million Dollar Highway.” Miners originally bestowed the name, noting the wealth that poured down the highway to Ouray from the mines there in the high country. Later, as the mines played out and the beauty of the San Juans began drawing tourists, the name referred to the million-dollar views.

I can recall the last time I made the drive; in places, the views were hardly worth anything, much less a million bucks – lurid colors left by mine tailings - stained several creeks and pools along the way - “stains” that will last for thousands of years.

These blotches are not enjoyable to see, but they are a part of the history of the place.

The miners who preceded us did not have the luxury of aesthetics, leisure time or environmentalism. The 19th-century’s work ethic was simple and inexorable: work or die. If their work put them in a place where they might find riches and escape a life of appalling drudgery, so much the better. 

Of course it was that same lure of gold, that had caused what happened to us; Leo’s told me that much already, and of course, my memory is slowly coming back to me now.

But, you say, “what did happen to you?”  Well it will take Jackie to fill in all the details but as I’m remembering it now, we were on our way to meet up with the Donner party, who themselves had split from the main wagon train in order to take the so-called “short-cut” to California, when we were accosted by a large group of men riding on horses. 

I say a large group, actually there were only 10 riders that day, but you must understand, that most people traveling those parts were doing so via wagons in groups. So a group of riders on horses was not a sight one normally saw.

At best, you might see two, maybe three men on horseback, but they were not necessarily riding together; and were most always associated with a wagon train.

Like I said, it will take Jackie to fill in the details, so, you’ll have to wait for her arrival to find out, with me, exactly what went on that day.

In closing, I would like to “thank” Ice for the opportunity to write this little piece, and I hope everyone enjoys reading it.

Dan

Voice Implants

I see where “Lucy” has come up with another way to showcase members of the stream.  She has now embarked upon providing us with the “voices” of some (those who participate) of our fellow streamers.

I myself have heard the voice of the esteemed “Prankster,” (he sounds just like I thought he would) and “Sherry,” from “SherriesCherries,” and will have to check it out more thoroughly to see who else might be “speaking out aloud,” these days.  Leave it to Lucy to be the forerunner, eh?

Editorial – ice

Sorry about the “gap” between issues of this “rag,” but, alas, things have once again been hectic with my job, plus, the pupster had to be out of town for a few days, and I was left to fend for myself around the plantation.

But, this period (of fending for myself) did leave time to do some “self-evaluating,” and, along with my reading of Dan’s editorial this morning, has caused me to put my thoughts on this rag.

Yeah, I know, some of you might be slightly confused about Dan, and me.

Sometimes I’m a little confused myself, but, during those times (of confusion) I just discuss it with Leo, and he always straightens me out.

Morale to the story, if you have a problem with a character you invent - just invent another character that can explain things to you.  

Anyway… Dan’s view on things - always (to me) seems a little out in “left field,” er, so far out there sometimes, that we have to relay water to him, if you know what I mean.

Take his editorial this morning about where he is presently residing. 

According to him, he’s back in 1846, running around, or should I say, laying around, with Leo, talking about “apples,” and stuff, as they await the arrival of Jackie, who, we’ve never met yet, yes?

Now, I realize that an “apple” is an apple because we’ve named it an apple, but if we didn’t put names on stuff this world would “really” be confusing now wouldn’t it?  And, it’s not like the world came with an owner’s manual, although I sure wish it had.  In fact, I’ve been thinking lately of writing one (owner’s manual) for the world.

Maybe it would help straighten out the Middle East, Israel, and the price of gas?

I read “Scratchomo’s” post this morning about the “vocal” thing.  It appears old Scratch isn’t interested in “talking.”  He feels that “writing” is what makes the stream flow, not talking. 

Hmmm…… well I tend to agree with him, but from an entertainment angle, these voice things aren’t that bad.  At least you get to hear the voices of people you’ve been writing to/about for all this time. 

Will it lead to a massive “party line” on the stream?  No, I kind of doubt that, but as to rather or not I will lend my own voice to this new phenomenon, I will have to think about it first.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who “The Lost 13” consists of, here on the stream.  Now we know that Leo is one of the 13 but he’s not had a blog on the stream until just recently, and I’m not sure the “Leo” we are seeing on the stream is the “real” Leo. That reminds me, has the “Purse Posse” figured out yet – who he/she is?

We also know – now - that Dan is one of the 13, but since he is an invention of mine, and has never had his own blog…..

We know of a lady named “Jackie,” and of course we are all aware that the stream has more than one “Jackie,” i.e. Colo and Lucy, so, we cannot know for sure who she might be.

Colo suggested that Dan’s wife would have to be one of the 13 since she recognized Dan from the beginning.

Again, she (Dan’s wife – not Colo) is also an invention of mine, so the same logic that applied to Dan must apply to her.

So, in retrospect, we really can’t name any one person yet to the list of 13.

But, the possibilities are out there.  “Six, George Bush, Daze, Colo, Prank, myself, Pup, Sherry, Scratch, Stuart, Lucy, Polar Bear, Leo, Dan, Dan’s wife, Jonnie, Joe Blow, Joe Smith, Mrs. Robinson, Whit, Donut, Miss Lou, Topaz, Wayfarer, Belle, Lady Blumoon, Whisper, Strider, Barney, Bear Bryant, Gomer, Miss Bea, Andy, Mr. Ornery, BiggieT, Taylor, Don Rumsfield, Peachy, Bill Clinton, Kozy, Snerdly, Baygirl, Gene Smith, Lee Marvin, Squash, Elvis, Chey, and Pioneer to name just a few.

In closing, I would like to “thank” this rag for the opportunity to be it’s editor, and remember, “to keep buying this rag.”

ice ..

THE NEW RESIDENCIA

47^TH issue

EST. 1833

EDITOR – ICE

Dep Editor – Pup

Vice Pres – Daze

Exec VP – Six

Asst. Exec VP – Prank

Scoop Reporter – Scratchomo

Storyline Consultant - Whit

Ace Reporter – Jonnie

Entertainment Expert - Jackie

Blogstream Party

The big party on the “stream” was a smashing success this past Monday evening.  I arrived within minutes of its instigation, and immediately felt that “it was where the action was.”

But, alas, within another few minutes I found myself “kicked out,” and the party not to be found.  It was just the Pup, and me and then Belle, all by ourselves, wondering where everybody had went. 

Then, I heard the pupster saying quite vigorously – “that she had done nothing!”

Finally…. I asked exactly “what kind of nothing had she not done?”

“All I done, said she, was put different compartments in.”

Naturally, when she done this – they (the compartments) moved the party room down and it was temporarily lost to us, until “I” the “great one,” figured it out, much to Pup’s amazement.  Btw, when reading Pup’s recap of the party, I noticed that she fails to mention this, preferring to refer to “fast maneuvering,” but what the heck, we all have our versions, right?

In fact, it was a “great idea,” and I had a blast interacting in all the different rooms, especially the “Powder Room,” and the “Kitchen,” until the latter was demolished by Pup who was “remodeling” a little, me thinks. 

Man I hope this paper doesn’t put me on the couch tonight? Lol

She is right about BiggieT’s impersonation of Cher.  I thought it was great.  He looked just like her.  In fact if’n I’d been a single man, I’d tried to take her/him home.

I tried to engage everyone I saw, and although I told her about 8 or 9 times, I could never get Colo=Connect to answer me – when I kept trying to tell her I had a hat but no head.  This, because she had said that “Ice had no hat so she didn’t have to have one either.”

All in all, the Lighthouse worked out for her and I am delighted to report that we had no shipwrecks although I do think there were a few near misses.

The RR “blasted” me for not liking her poetry anymore and although I apologized several times, she still ran off with my beer money and never came back.  RR if you’re reading this, could you PM me a beer?

It was really nice to see Pioneer at the party too.  In the chat room he was quoted as saying he started “Blogstream” as a ”side item,” and had been pleasantly surprised at the success.  I know that we really owe him for the “stream,” so, I for one, am pleased to announce that “Pioneer” will receive a years free subscription to “The New Residencia.” Uh, er, the only thing he will owe is the “delivery charge,” ($4.50 per issue)

------------next column-----

up and to the right……….

Editorial Opining

One thing the Party did for me - was to cause me to realize that although we live in a “real World,” that is quite different from the “stream,” it is always nice to step out of that other world and into a place where we can rest and relax, and drink, cuss, and put our feet up on the furniture.

Chain-Letter

I thought we could get a “chain letter” going on the blog, since I’ve been here almost a year and have yet to see one.

Ok folks, this is how it works.

Everybody send “Ice,” a “buck,” and I’ll forward it on to the Exec. VP of “The New Residencia,” who will disburse it “all over” the stream. “SO,” start sending those bucks in today!  And, btw, didn’t she (Six) have a “kicking” hat?  And, Daze too, although I was kind of looking forward to seeing her in the “German Helmet.”  Of course it was our own “Scoop Reporter,” Mr. Scratchomo himself who got all the ruckus a going on back in the day, when he “accused” our Miss Daze of wearing a German Helmet.

Although Scratchomo was “acquitted” I always thought someone got to the Judge and offered him some kind of reward or something to rule in the Scratchomo’s favor.  That’s not to say that Scratchomo was “guilty,” it’s just to say that the evidence was stacked way high against him.  Oh well, I guess it has been settled and it’s no use telling Daze that the “outer boundaries” of the crime is about to “run out,” and that she only has a few days to file an “appeal.”

P.S. to Scratchomo – don’t worry man, if she does file one of those “appeals” I know a good lawyer you can hire on the “cheap.”

“Leo and Dan

“I don’t understand? “

With those words, said aloud by me, Leo stops in his tracks, and, turning toward me he said, “What is it you don’t understand, Dan?

“For one thing, why are we here, and while you’re at it, could you tell me how it is that I find myself walking beside this wagon, and feeling like I’ve been hypnotized or something.

“The reason we’re here is that we needed to get out of there, he said, motioning his head back behind us, and as to how we’re here; “I put us here.”

“And by the way, he continued, we are in the past, and it’s a damn good thing we are, cause they almost had us back there.”

“You mean back at the house,” I said, meaning the house where not 10 minutes ago Leo and I had been out on the patio drinking and smoking.

“Dan, I think it’s time to fill you in a little about what is going on.”

Continued at “nowhere man’s blog.” See "Realism in Small Doses"

The New Residencia

Editor – Ice

Dep Editor – PuP

Vice Pres. – Daze

Exec VP – Six

Asst. Exec VP - Prank

StoryLine – Whit

Scoop Rep– Scratchomo

Ace Reporter – Jonnie

Chief of Art – Lucy

……………...pup……………………

eyes so bright they twinkle

as hearts transpose a secret all-alone

and past - with future - paints a story

of a dark night winding the clock

backward in time, night over day

where love grows in mighty leaps

and out of bounds is freed by life

running on a feeling

songs sung melancholy tip the scale

around the curve of a stray thought

while a brilliant beam from within

walks the surface of my mind

your essence forms inside me

a yearning I cannot deny

of an endless search with conclusion

and a door forever opening

……………ice……………..

Got to love that girl!

Tuesday Night

Once we lived & breathed

On a Tuesday night….

Stars all about…

Two people in love

Twisted way of the world

Far away and in a fog

Neither chose to wander

So they curled inward…

Taking the little things

Cause they could…

While leaving the rest

Trading knowing smiles

Picture on the Wall

Of a time long ago

Neighborhood so calm

Sidewalks in a line

Folks walking in time

Light rain falling

Umbrella in hand

Newspaper on the step

Supper cooking inside

Hurrying home

Long day at an end

Night coming on

Where is the fear

Of a time long ago

While hurrying home

Light rain a falling

...There was no fear

Exercise in the Mind.

Sit down and wrap your mind around a thought.

Got it?

Wonder why you chose that thought?

U

P

C

O

M

I

N

G

 anniversary party

Ok folks – put on your thinking caps. 

Got them on?

We need to come up with some good ideas for the party. 

You guys/gals, (got to be politically correct, yes) can surely come up with some “really” good ideas as to the big party, yes?

Editorial

Recently I spied Leo on blogstream.  Yep there he was – just sitting there in the open, on my comment page, picture and all.

I really was puzzled when I saw the picture, cause he sure didn’t look like I had him pictured in my mind.  And no, I don’t think his voice sounds like Steve Martin’s, but still, I kind of pictured him more like Robert Mitchum, or John Wayne.

Now. I’d really like to know who is responsible for this man supposing to be Leo, who looks kind of like my Uncle Bordinine.

So, I am pleased to announce a “reward” for any information as to who this man really is, - and - who is responsible for his picture being on my comment page.

Therefore, I am requesting the assistance of “The Purse Posse,” in running this fella down.

I would be pleased to have an answer “before” our party, if at all possible.

ice

p.s. anyone looking for the "adventures of Leo" can find him and his friends at my other blog, "nowhere man," which is bookmarked on this blog.  Thanks! 

T

 H

   E

 New Residencia

Editor – Ice

Dep Editor – PuP

Vice Pres. – Daze

Exec VP – Six

Asst. Exec VP - Prank

StoryLine – Whit

Scoop Rep– Scratchomo

Ace Reporter – Jonnie

Chief of Art – Lucy

Editor’s Note:  The below editorial by Ms Daze, Vice Pres of the rag was taken verbatim from her fine blog “Along the Spiral Path,” without her permission.  I do hope I’m not in hot water again for doing so, but if it turns out to be a problem, then Judge Ice will be called in to rule on the case.  In any event we want to “Thank” Ms Daze in advance for the copyright to this article.

 “Thanks Daze!” 

Editorial

By – Ms Daze, Vice President

Please go to next column

Mayberry News

Recently this rag reported that “Gomer” had been drafted into the U.S. Army but (he) did not see fit to abide by the “draft,” and instead had “opted out” of it. 

As reported, this decision was supported by Sheriff Andy, but it has come to our attention here at “The New Residencia,” that the Gov’t in it’s infinite wisdom refused to recognize Gomer’s decision and sent an Gov’t Agent to Mayberry to pick up Gomer and take him (by force) to the nearest Army base.

Upon hearing about this, we contacted Sheriff Andy to find out the details.  Below is an interview with Sheriff Andy, conducted by Mr. Snerdly, who is our Chief of Foreign Affairs Department.

Mr. Snerdly – Sheriff, what can you tell us about the “goings on” in Mayberry what with the Gov’t agent in town?

Sheriff Andy- Well Snerd, right at this moment we’ve seemed to have lost contact with the Gov’t agent man.

Mr. Snerdly – uh, that’s “Mr. Snerdly,” if you don’t mind Sheriff. But, what do you mean – “you’ve lost contact with the gov’t agent?

Sheriff Andy – Well, Snerd, he arrived yesterday just as we were all coming out of the local theater after watching a movie called “Fried Green Tomatoes,” and in keeping with the “flavor” of the movie he was invited to supper down at the old mill, where we sometimes bar-b-q, and make “Pork Salad Stew.”

Mr. Snerdly – uh, that’s Mr. Snerdly,” please.  So…. You all went down to the old mill and had supper.  Is that where the Gov’t agent disappeared?

Sheriff Andy – yeah Mr. Snerd, he was last seen back of the mill as we were preparing the ingredients to the “pot luck stew” that was the “special” that day.

Mr. Snerdly- uh, that’s Mr. Snerdly please.  Uh, er, have you investigated his disappearance?

Sheriff Andy – yeah Snerd, we, uh, I appointed my deputy, Barney, to head up the investigation and he has informed me, just this morning, that he cannot find the guy, but that the stew was fantastic!

Mr. Snerdly – uh, that’s Mr. Snerdly please.  Uh, Sheriff, you do know what the movie, “Fried Green Tomatoes” is about don’t you?

Sheriff Andy – yeah, Snerdly, I’ve watched it about a dozen times and it never ceases to amaze me how that woman solved her problem with that guy.

Mr. Snerdly – That’s kind of what I was alluding to Sheriff.  Do you think it’s a coincidence that just shortly after you were watching a movie about a man (who was causing trouble) who ends up in a pot of stew, that the gov’t agent would disappear?

Sheriff Andy – now Mr. Snerdly, it was never really proven that – that is what happened in the movie.  I do believe your conjecturing is out of order in this interview.  But to prove that there are no hard feelings about anything, I am going to invite you to our “Bean Supper” tonight at the old mill.  I hear that there is going to be a special ingredient in it.

Mr. Snerdly- uh, Sheriff, I do appreciate you finally getting my name right, but, I, uh, have to be going, I’ve got to get this interview back to the “rag” as quickly as possible, but I do appreciate your hospitality and look forward to the next time.

Sheriff Andy – not a problem Mr. Snerdly, I always like to get the “ingredients” – uh, I mean “particulars” correct when I’m being interviewed.  And, are you sure you don’t want to try our “Bean Special” tonight?

Mr. Snerdly – yes, I’m sure, now if you will excuse me I must depart.

Sheriff Andy – sure thing Mr. Snerdly, have a nice day!

Around the stream…

There has been some recent talk of having the 1-year anniversary party for Blogstream over here at “The New Residencia,” which is fine with the staff and me. 

Although it occurs to me - that there might be a better place to have the party.  Over at “The Tombs” offers a great atmosphere if we could persuade Mr. Scrach to host it. 

Another good idea might be “The Dog House,” which is full of nice flowers and stuff.

If anyone has other suggestions feel free to send them to this “rag,” and “remember” to “keep buying this rag.”

Fantasy Football League

“Mariablumoon” is hosting a fantasy football league on the stream, which I may enter myself, time permitting.  It sounds like fun.

 “Trying not to come undone”

If you’ve been missing this great blog lately, you need to tune in and read the “overheard” comments that these bunch of wacky secret agents have been collecting.  You might be amazed at some of the comments. Lol

Time to go to work

Oops! I’m late for a date with the “workmieser.”  See yall next issue.

ice

The New Residencia

Special Edition

August

Day 26

2006

Editor’s Note: A

“change going to

come,” says Mr.